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Aging Gracefully. How Training Female Athletes Can Increase Your 'Gray'

By Robert L. Selders, Jr.

Several summers ago, I began working with female athletes (several elite amateurs to be exact) who were preparing for their upcoming season. It happened during one of our morning speed sessions.

Okay, before totally disregarding this article and then passing me off as some horrible male chauvinist, just hear me out for 2 minutes.

We had just completed our third 40-yard sprint when I looked over at one of my more well-conditioned athletes. She had her hands on her knees and her back was turned to me.

Being that we were on our third sprint I found it odd that she'd be totally exhausted, but I thought 'Okay, maybe she's just a little winded. So I asked 'How ya feeling'? Now, I was expecting to hear something like 'I'm good, let's keep going.' or maybe even 'This is kicking my butt!' What I got was something that none of my coaching experiences had ever prepared me for.

She turned around and was crying uncontrollably! My heart just sank. I've completely screwed something up I thought. Maybe I didn't allow for enough recovery time, maybe I pushed too hard on the first few sprints thoughts were going through my head a million miles a millisecond and I was wracking my brain trying to figure out what was going on.

Luckily for me I had other female athletes there who 'rescued' my athlete (and me) from a potentially horrific experience. It turns out she had a family issue that was stressing her beyond belief; and the combination of the sprints with my 'How ya feeling'? question was enough to cause this emotional release. Alright, I'll admit it'I didn't have a clue, but I think I did recover rather well in spite of my ignorance.

I stopped the session and had the other athletes go grab a drink while she and I talked a bit. In no time at all, the flood dried up and she was laughing again. We resumed the training session a few minutes later and ended up having one of the most productive sessions that summer.

Fast forward a few months later, I was reading an article about training athletes and the author stated that there's no reason to coach or train male and female athletes differently. Hmmm! Given my recent experience, I begged to differ.

'Should you coach female athletes differently than male'? was once a question, while privately discussed amongst coaches, was rarely openly debated. Probably in large part because many feared they would be viewed as suggesting that female athletes were less competitive than their male counterparts. However, this is an assumption which has largely been disproved over and over again and can be put aside to address a legitimate concern.

Today, the question is asked more openly and research supports the conclusion that female athletes should indeed be coached and trained differently than males. The question is logically rooted in what motivates a female athlete which is in fact different from a male athlete. While male athletes, as a group, tend to be more extrinsic or externally motivated, female athletes are influence more by intrinsic or internal rationales. Given this piece of information, it would only prove logical that a coach or trainer would use a more appropriate approach based on internally-focused motivations.

Whether you are a female or a male coach or trainer, you need to learn how to recognize the specific needs of your athletes and develop a precise understanding of the unique perspectives that female athletes have. For some who have not worked regularly or often with female athletes, this can prove challenging. However, your comprehension is essential to assisting those athletes so that they become great athletes at the top of their sport.

Female athletes, as well as female sports, have evolved tremendously over the last one hundred years. Female athletes are stronger, faster and more athletic than ever before. They take as much pride in their abilities as their male counterparts, and rightly so. Therefore, as coaches and trainers, we should also afford them that higher level of respect reserved for these abilities. Not only is it the right thing to do, but is what female athletes strive for and expect.

Some have often questioned the female athlete's commitment to their sport. This comes largely from an old-school mindset that suggests achieving a winning outcome should be the one and only goal. Female athletes may not be as focused on the final winning outcome as their male counterpart, and instead prefer to concentrate on becoming more physically fit and having fun, but that does not translate into a lack of commitment or dedication to their sport.

Studies have repeatedly shown that female athletes prefer a friendly and more respectful atmosphere in which to train. They prefer a high level of camaraderie among players and between coaches and athletes which contributes to creating a family-oriented team environment which effectively meet the needs of each of its players. Female athletes prefer coaches who show warmth, empathy and a sense of humor. While they would like to form a stronger bond with their coach, they do draw a line at showing favoritism toward any one player.

Female athletes are unwilling to blindly follow a directive without knowing what the 'why' is behind that directive. Now being the father of two, soon to be three, budding female athletes (5 year-old, 2 year-old, and a third due to arrive very soon), I can certainly relate.

Female athletes want and respond to clear and positive feedback and expect their ideas and suggestions to be acknowledged and heard. Coaches or trainers who negatively criticize, scream, and yell are likely to have a harmful impact on a female athlete's self-perception. The all too common coaching approach of being quick to criticize, but slow to commend will not go over well with the majority of female athletes.

Remember that your role as a coach and/or trainer is not just pivotal, but powerful. Dr. Harvey Schiller, Former Executive Director, U.S. Olympic Committee summed it up best, 'Always remember the tremendous power you have as a coach to help another human being maximize their potential; pursue this awesome responsibility daily with intensity and integrity.'

'Gray matter' is usually synonymous with intellect or high level brain function. As a male coach, when you take the time to understand what your female athletes are dealing with and make the necessary adjustments when/if warranted, it helps to build a better working relationship, more trust, and an environment conducive for high achievement.

And because you're able to help your athletes obtain mind-blowing performance results, you are perceived to be wise beyond your years and quickly become the coach athletes tear down your door to work with. Okay, so the 'increase your gray' is a stretch, but you get my point!

A few years have passed since that time and I've worked with a number of female athletes and teams with very successful outcomes. Appreciating the differences between female and male athletes does not mean that you must provide them with special consideration or accommodation. It simply means that you need to find and embrace an approach that works best for achieving the results that both you and your athletes expect.

You owe it to yourself and to your athletes.

About the Author:

Robert Selders, Jr., MS, CSCS, Principle Consultant of 3Q Fitness Consultants (Garland, Texas), is a Certified Fitness Trainer and Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist. He can be reached at