Recently, I'm struggling, I mean really struggling with making a commitment to myself and staying committed to my decisions. I'm not sure if my decision making process if severely flawed - which I'm willing to bet, or if I'm afraid of extra responsibility that comes with making decisions. Should we rent our extra house until the market gets better, or just unload and sell it? Should I expand my current business, or do I just make what I'm doing better? Green socks? White socks? No socks? The opportunities to make quality decisions affects the quality of your life every single day, some on a larger scale than others, but still affects our everyday living. Let me explain further.
The one thing I've discovered is that by not making a decision IS making a decision. There's power that lies in making a decision, and the less you use that power, the more powerless you become, over yourself, over your goals and over your own options. Your direction in life will stem from whatever may happen to you, not a destiny you create.
As a fitness professional, I teach fitness classes 5 days a week, some of those days I teach up to 3 classes back to back which may sound overwhelming but it's what makes me tick, gets me high. Whether I'm lecturing or teaching physical movement classes, I love to share my fitness enthusiasm with others because I truly believe if people feel really good it will improve their outlook in life, which in turn will allow them to treat others better, which in turn makes the world a better place to live. I know this sounds naively optimistic, but it truly drives me. I used to suffer alone of embarrassment from this secret mission until my 10 year old came to me with a sketch of superhero outfits he's designing for himself and one of his classmates to wear, which to him represents how he wants to save the world from itself (I made my kids watch 'An Inconvenient Truth' and Planet Earth on the Discovery channel every Sunday evening, the verdict is still out as to whether this is a good thing or not; it was my lazy attempt to answer their recycling questions). At first I thought it was really silly, but then I thought, 'Well, who am I to trivialize this decision he has made for himself' At least he's doing better than I am in the decision making department. This was a great lesson from my 10 year old. I'm certain I don't have to tell you how much more solidified my 'silly' secret has become with the recent tragic episode of Virginia Tech.
Anyway, back to my fitness classes. At the beginning of the sessions I have students/clients come to me expressing their goals and how excited they are to finally be able to get into one of my classes as they have heard from others about the great results they get from taking my classes. My first response is always, ' Is that all they told you' Did they mention anything about how much work goes into making those changes? Are you committed to the decision you've made to change your body?? These questions are usually received with blank stares but I do want them to think about their decision, their commitment. The truth to the questions always comes out later.
The first 3-4 weeks into the program, I like to define as priming their bodies. The first 3-4 weeks is very crucial. It gives me a glimpse of where they are physically, and most importantly mentally and gives me time to memorize their names - which is very important to me. In weeks 5 & 6 I'm parking a mile from the campus so no one knows what kind of car I drive (I'm not kidding). It's usually in these weeks where I retrieve the ammunition of their goals they set for themselves in the beginning as a gentle reminder of where it is they want to be in the 11th week.
Then, as I'm looking into their, 'Let's kill her!' faces, it started to dawn on me that I'm not the only one with this decision-commitment problem. Other people need help in this area as well. As I look at my classes deeply perplexed at why they are spewing venom in my direction, I try to put myself in their shoes and understand why they were so willing to abandon their commitments and give me half-hearted attempts in their workouts when things get tough. I look into their faces and see, 'This lady is crazy!' expressions and I'm truly puzzled. Then I realize that their commitment does not match their decision. They were wishing for what they wanted physically and wanted me to do the work for them to get them there. I can't want it more than they do, they have to find that place in themselves and commit to it. They don't have the realization that I'm just part of the solution and that there was work still needed on their part. It became just as important to me to help them become better committed to their decisions as it was for me to provide a safe, effective yet challenging workout. So I got to work on making them into more committed decision makers. Here is the result of my findings:
Different actions produce different results. As simplistic as that may sound, really think about the reality of that sentence. Take control of your consistent actions. What precedes all our actions? What is the father of all action? It's DECISIONS. Why don't people just make a committed decision and stick to it? Most of us are so much more than the person we're demonstrating. Most people state preferences instead of commitments. Making a true decision means cutting off any other possibilities. When you truly decide to quit smoking, that's it, there's no question of turning back you have a clear objective. For your decisions to make a difference in your life you have to decide what results you're committed to. Most people don't make those kinds of committed decisions, they make excuses instead.
The best way to make better decision is to make more of them. Learn from each of them, even the bad ones. Do not be discouraged if you make a bad decision because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward. It gets better the more often you do it. Making decisions is the same as working your muscles, it gets stronger the more often you do it.
Take control of these three decisions and you can sculpt your experiences and design your own life:
ACTIVELY DECIDE WHAT TO FOCUS ON EACH MOMENT YOU'RE ALIVE. Your decision about what to focus on is shaping how you think, what you feel and what you do. Even if it sounds hokie, just try it; what do you have to lose? If you want to feel better, focus on things that make you feel better, not on what you're lacking. If you haven't seen The Secret (www.thesecret.tv) please watch it, it does far better at explaining this than I ever could. Again, even if you think it to be hokie, what do you have to lose?
Decide WHAT THINGS MEAN TO YOU? No matter what's happening around you. What does this mean and how does this affect my future, my present or my past? Take the most recent tragedy of Virginia Tech: What does this mean to you, how does it affect your future decisions? Is this affecting your future decisions? Do you have an 'out there not happening in my world mentality?' Does it have any effect on you at all?
WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW? It's not what's happening right now, or even in your past that determines who you become, but rather it's your decision about what to focus on and what things mean to you and what you're going to do about them that will determine your ultimate destiny. If anyone is having more success than you in any area, whether it is weight loss and feeling great, financial success, or a great relationship, it's because they're making these 3 decisions differently than you in some way. Be directed by your own values not the current flow of the environment. Whatever challenges you face presently could have been avoided by different quality decisions.
After finding the answers to these three important reflective questions, it's time to look to master your decision-making approach. There is a 4-step process for achieving decision-making success:
Anyone can succeed on a large scale in decision-making by taking these steps. Understand that the power of a truly committed decision that is acted upon no matter what the conditions are on a continual basis is what brings you the results you want. If there's no new action, you haven't really decided.
Make your decisions intelligently, make them quickly, and make them often. Don't labor over a decision. You know you've made a true decision when action flows from it.. The more decisions you make the better you get at it and this will help you to learn from your decisions. There's going to be times when you make bad decisions, but be sure you learn from them.
Stay committed to your decision, but stay flexible in your approach. For example, if you're a 5"4" female and you had a goal in the beginning to reach 115 lbs before you learned about how important body composition is and you've reached 135lbs 17% body fat, feel and look the best you have in your life, then celebrate and move on to your next commitment to yourself. Make sure you show flexibility because circumstances can change at any moment that you may or may not need to take heed to in order to make an educated decision. Enjoy making the decision.
The people who are succeeding at something you want aren't better people than you, they're just making better quality decisions.
Remember, a truly committed decision is the force that changes your life. You'll be empowered to take control of the force that shapes your life.
Reference:
Robbins, Anthony. Personal Power II. Audio Renaissance; CD & Jrnal edition (January 15, 1997).
Velma Esprit Garnes resides in Gahanna, Ohio where she is a fitness freelance writer, professor and recently inducted into Columbus State Community College’s Sports Exercise Studies Hall of Fame. She can be through her website at www.studiotemple.com
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